her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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