Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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