feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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