the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
