Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Randomize
