Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
