Where are you?
In a non slutty way
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize