I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
