so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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