So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
