Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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