im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize