i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The power of my boobs compel you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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