when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
