Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
