I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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