that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
