i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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