Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
