you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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