The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
