yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
