I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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