Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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