you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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