the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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