I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize