Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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