So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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