we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
