I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
