No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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