Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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