Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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