Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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