Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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