McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize