Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
