I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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