u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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