I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I want a musical about memes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
