i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
