I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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