I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
God, I missed his penis.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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