After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
