Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
