I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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