What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
my poor anus
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
