I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
