Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
