I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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