therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
