this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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