four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
