just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
