Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
