I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize