In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Someone shattered a urinal.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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