If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
