We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The feeling are messing with the penis
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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