Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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