I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
